Views out of our Windows

None of these are super recent, and none of these are particularly unusual.

I'm not sure what was wrong with this guy, but whatever
problem he had caused two police cars, two ambulances,
and a fire truck to come to our little corner.

The first vehicle that responded to his situation.

Gina digging through the dumpster.

Some sweet dumpster finds.

Starting to carry the stuff but walking in the wrong direction...?

The amazing thing here is that we just never know what we are going to see out of our windows. For example, last night several people were out in the parking lot yelling and carrying about at 10pm on a very windy snowy cold night. Such good times.

Gardening in GL

A few months ago Brad the maintenance man replaced our shower and did a generally shitty job. Almost immediately one corner on the outside kept continually getting moldy even though we were doing our very best to keep it dry. One day I noticed the above--a small plant was growing out of the corner of the bathtub inside of our bathroom. Disgusting, right? I texted Brad the same picture that is above, and he was actually extremely responsive. He came the next business day and sealed things a little better. Thus far, we have not had a reemergence of the bean.

Merry Christmas from NOLD

I had just gotten home from work (like, literally just walked through the door) when there was a knock on the door. Typically we try to ignore these because they typically bring something unpleasant, but I felt sure that whoever it was knew that I had just gotten home. Thus, I answered it. It was NOLD. She was bringing by Christmas presents for her "Sweety-Girls" (yep, that's Lizzy and me) since she knew we'd be traveling for Christmas break (you know, since we are the "College Girls"). She was very nice, and the gift bag had two identical mugs with attached mints, and each mug was labelled ("Elizabeth" and "Jessica").

Brief Gina update

I got the following text from Lizzy today when she was home studying for an exam, and I was at work: "Gina called the cops again. Said someone 'tore up' the back of her apt & then took off. Shes been knocking on everyones doors & screaming @ our window."

My response: "Omg. She needs a hospital."

Lizzy: "She is a nut. Cops left. Shes been pacing the apt bldg & keeps asking 2 talk 2 bad moms mom."

I haven't observed anything interesting or out of the ordinary since I've been home, which is a very good thing.

Oh Gina

When Lizzy got home around 8 tonight, the police were outside of our apartment building, but she didn't know why. Then, around 9:45 there was some serious banging on the outside front door of the apartment. Lizzy thought it might be the cops again, so I looked out the window. I saw a man get into a white SUV that was parked in the middle of the road. I was narrating his actions for Lizzy when he saw me looking out of the window. He started waving his arms and shouting at me, "HELP! HELP ME!" My method of helping a random man who is parked in the middle of the road involves calling the police. I explained to the 911 operator that a man was parked literally in the middle of the road shouting "HELP!" and a cop car came a few minutes later. When the cop got out of his car, the man started driving away. The cop turned on his lights and called for backup. They approached the man, and it turns out that he was Crackhead Gina's pastor, and he was trying to return some items to her. The first cop then said that he was just here with Gina, who was having a "medical issue." He then called the police station to see "if there was anyway" that they could get into our building. Around that time, someone else (probably NOLD) let them in the building. The cops pounded and pounded on Gina's door before discovering that it was unlocked. They went in and woke her up. They left her items just inside her door and told her to go back to sleep. The cops apologized to the pastor for the misunderstanding, and they all laughed like old buddies.

JB and Friends

I'm sorry for slacking so much lately on keeping my fans informed about GL. Here's an anecdote from a friend of a friend who also lives in GL:

So here's what happened to us last night:

 

We had just finished eating and were watching TV on the couch (which is right near the front door), when someone knocked at the door, then smashed in one of the window panels on the door with a baseball bat. I jumped up, grabbed Kiwi, and Erik (thinking it was someone breaking in) yelled "GO AWAY" in a manly voice and picked up the closest heavy object, a stoneware bowl from dinner (lol) for protection. But then the people weren't trying to come in, they were yelling, so I went to the door and opened the curtain and it is two 18-20 year old girls with baseball bats yelling "WHERE'S JB??" So I was like "What? There's no JB here" and they are like "BULLSHIT, HE JUST DROPPED ME OFF HERE AN HOUR AGO" and I'm like, "No, he didn't, I don't know anyone named JB!" So I argue with them for a few minutes, and I'm like, "he probably lives next door," and eventually one of them goes "Oh shit, he does live next door" and they start walking next door.

 

So I call the police, while Erik goes outside. There is an older guy with them, just standing back (I think he was there to protect them in case JB attacked them or something). So Erik said "You can't just go breaking people's windows." as the girls go and smash the neighbor's windows, and the guy said "Yeah, but if you knew what JB did to them..." or something like that.  So then the people walk off down the street, and the guy told Erik "If you don't call the cops, I'll come fix it tomorrow." Well I had already called the cops, and they arrived like 1 minute later, but the people were gone. We filed a report, but the cop said there's not much they can do since it's criminal mischief and the cops didn't witness it.

 

Then the cop leaves, and like 30 minutes later, we hear the neighbors yelling "omigod, what happened here?? the windows are broken!" We go outside and it is a woman, a guy, and a girl, so I say to the guy "Are you JB?" and he says ".....I know him" (and I'm thinking, ok, you are him), so I explain what happened.  So, he calls the cops, exaggerating and saying "people broke into my house and stole my stuff" (he is obviously an idiot), gives them his name, Johnny Bradley (obviously JB), along with the names of the girls who did it.

 

Erik and I left, Erik used wood to temporarily fix the window, and the maintenance guy from our rental company is working on it now. We still have no idea what JB did to the girls. The idiots not only broke our window, but also JB's windows, and the window of the apartment next to his.

Weird Walking

I had just left for my walk when I came across a man who was standing in the alley looking across at a building. He greeted me and gestured to a cat. He said, "I'm trying to make the cat come back to where he stay at." He was worried about getting scratched. I muttered some vague remarks and kept walking.

Then, as I approached a funeral home that is a little farther up the alley, a female employee of the home who was outside smoking approached me. She got so close to me that she actually touched my elbow (while smoking in my face) to warn me that they were having a military funeral. She didn't want the guns to scare me. I appreciated the warning.

I kept walking. Another minute or two later, the guns did go off. I still jumped even though I was warned.

I kept walking. About thirty minutes later I came back through the alley. The cat guy was in the parking lot where the cat had been, sitting on the trunk of a car talking to another guy. I tried to get by without engaging, but I was unsuccessful. He told me that he knew he wouldn't catch the cat before I came back by. He then told me that he saw me jump when the guns went off. He said he knew it scared me. I admitted that it did.

I kept walking and made it back home without incident.

This is also on a nearby porch.

Unreasonable Expectations

Yesterday Lizzy was home and heard some lady scolding a little girl and thought it was related to New Bad Mom (Mandy). She heard the woman saying: "Sit on the steps with Nana. Sit down. Sit down. We're gonna have to get you a new babysitter because this isn't working out for Nana."

Last night I saw basically the same scene. Mandy was pacing around the parking lot talking on her cell phone. "Nana" was sitting on a step on a garbage bag smoking a cigarette and "Nay/Nay-Nay" was not interested in sitting beside Nana. Nay, who is apparently going to turn two next month, was more interested in running around and kept trying to go over to her mom. Nana kept saying "Nay-Nay sit by Nana. Momma's on the phone."

Today again Lizzy heard this scenario. The kid wanted to play in the dirt instead of sitting quietly on the step. Lizzy said, "In a weak moment I decided to be kind." Lizzy took down the toys we bought for her niece at Ikea and gave them to Nay to try to entertain her. Unfortunately Nana didn't want to get the toys dirty, so Lizzy was left trying to entertain Nay while Nana told her many stories. She learned that Mandy is a year younger than Lizzy, and Nay is one of four half-siblings from the dad who has 4 baby mamas who have blond hair and blue eyes. Mandy used to work at the mall but lost her job, so now she's a telemarketer six days a week. Nana loves Nay, but she gets into everything. Nana wants Nay to go to daycare. Nana used to weigh over 400 lbs, had back problems, her mom died, and her brother died. She used to be a bank teller and was in charge of the vault, but she couldn't go back to work and needs on the job training. Mandy's boyfriend is a Pizza Hut driver (which we knew from observing things) and not the baby daddy (which we observed based on the fact that Nay appears to be biracial).

Mandy and Mandy's boyfriend. He has a lot of stuff in the back of his truck.

Lizzy was getting ready to go inside when Gina came out. She had "crazy eyes." She talked about Mandy and Nana propping the door open (even though it was not propped at that time), Tamera telling on her, and she has to stay inside instead of going outside and enjoying herself because everyone keeps telling on her. She wandered off talking to herself.

The interaction ended with Lizzy getting a "stop by anytime you want" invite from Nana. I'm not sure how often she'll be taking her up on that offer.

Laundry Woes

When Lizzy took down laundry, she got accosted by NOLD and New Bad Mom Mandy. Mandy introduced herself. She said that she first saw Lizzy when she looked at the apartment, and she thought she wanted to live here because Lizzy looked cool. NOLD agreed that Lizzy is "cheerful and bubbly." Mandy came closer like she wanted to shake Lizzy's hand, but Lizzy wouldn't let her. Mandy said she is new here, doesn't know how things work, and doesn't want any problems. Someone has already called the landlord on her three times, so she wants Lizzy to knock on her door if she has any problem with her. Lizzy said okay and ended the conversation as quickly as possible. She then heard Mandy remark that she needed to check on her two year old, who was alone in the apartment.

Later Lizzy needed to go put the laundry in the dryer, she told me to listen if she was gone for more than five minutes, so I could save her if she got sucked into another conversation. I obliged. I opened the door five minutes later, and I heard nothing. When Lizzy came back, I learned that I listened too late...NOLD had intercepted her on the way to the laundry room and taken Lizzy into her apartment. NOLD wanted to talk to Lizzy about Mandy. First, she said that Mandy's mom is really nice, but she's really sick. (This random bit did not connect to the remainder of the content.) Then she talked about how Mandy is trying to "change things." She has been propping open the back door because she doesn't like the locks on the outer doors. NOLD is going to call the landlord tomorrow because she wants the locks to stay on the doors. NOLD also complained that Mandy opened the laundry room window. She told Mandy that she had better close it because there is a reason why it is nailed shut...because people were stealing electricity from it when it was open.

NOLD said that she did not call the landlord (yet) because she keeps to her own business (WHAT A JOKE!). She knew it couldn't be "the college girls upstairs" (us) because we keep to ourselves. She knew it couldn't be Amy because Amy's crazy (we agree). Thus, she does not  know who it could be. What a mystery!

NOLD also wanted Lizzy to know that she is having surgery for cancer on the 9th and been going to the doctor frequently. As Lizzy was leaving, NOLD remarked that she liked the smell of the dryer sheets. Lizzy said they are just Bounce. NOLD said she will have to get some.

Our plan when Lizzy goes to get the laundry is for me to text her every 1 minute, so she will always have an excuse to leave any possible conversation.

Drama Mommas

Setting: Our apartment.
Time: About 20 minutes ago.
Who: Originally just Lizzy and I. Then Crackhead Gina came on the scene.

Lizzy made an awesome dinner, and we were loving it when there was a knock on the door. It was Crackhead Gina who apparently stopped by to share her feelings with Lizzy. She appeared to be very high on something. She could barely stand and had trouble stringing words together to make sentences. Below is what she shared, as best Lizzy can remember it. I have retained as much of the original wording as possible. It is essentially a free association about her conflict with NOLD. Here's the monologue she provided:

NOLD told New Bad Mom to stay away from Gina because Gina does and sells drugs, which Gina denies. Gina found out because she was sitting on the steps trying to get it together, and New Bad Mom told her about it. Gina doesn't understand why NOLD doesn't stay out of her business. NOLD always sticks her head out when she hears Gina, and her face is all twisted up. NOLD also opens the front door and pretends to be the mailman several times per day to tease Gina. Then NOLD and Tamera (Dog Lady) call each other and laugh. They also stole her Publisher's Clearinghouse, and she was the winner. She wants her stamps back now because she was sending entries for one and a half years. She's going to be moving soon, within the next month or two. She was trying to wait to get a car, but now she can't wait. It's too much for Gina to ride the bus. She has a car service, and it costs her $86 even though she doesn't go that far. She doesn't understand why NOLD is playing these kid games, making fun of her and laughing. NOLD also goes into her house and moves her stuff because she has a key from the previous owner. She wants the landlord to change the locks and they won't do it. She heard the little girls of New Bad Mom screaming and hollering today, and she went right up and gave them some balloons, so they could stop hollering. We also need to be careful of NOLD. Gina wants to go ahead and let them have it because she's moving.

Here's as close to the truth as we know:

NOLD probably did warn New Bad Mom about Gina because Gina is definitely on drugs. If she's selling, she's not very good at it because she doesn't have any money. NOLD does appear to relish in her conflict with Gina, but we seriously doubt that she pretends to be the mailman or steals any mail from Gina. We further doubt that NOLD even has a key to Gina's apartment. Lizzy reminded me that Gina also accused the maintenance man of entering her apartment and ejaculating on her bed during an earlier incident. We also doubt that Gina will be moving anytime soon. We are afraid of any world where she is behind the wheel of a car. The little girls were extremely loud today, and I support giving them balloons if that will shut them up. Lizzy also said that she believes NOLD will probably share her side of the story soon. That just more reason for me to hide.

Delivery Diversion

Now we all have to take special measures to avoid having Amy steal any additional packages.





This is our note. (I cut off our names at the end.) We have our packages sent to a friends' house to avoid problems.



This note was located on the outer front door by "Dog Woman." She wanted her package delivered to NOLD. Normal Guy and Normal Girl apparently have their packages sent to NOLD's apartment too. NOLD also offered to accept our packages, but we do not want more involvement with her.

I hope to someday live in a location where our packages can be delivered without fear.

Floor Plan

I decided to treat all of you to a VERY ROUGH floor plan of this apartment building, just to provide more context for various posts. The proportions are definitely off, but the placement of various areas is correct.

 

Crazy Amy: shoe stealing, unmedicated schizophrenic, no job, grown kids

Crackhead Gina: crazy, emotional, generous, no job, grown kids

Dog Woman: stays out of drama, goes to work in the morning and returns later in the day

NOLD & Husband: Nosy Old Lady Downstairs is overly involved in everything, husband is rarely sighted

Bad Mom & Ryan/Rylin: moved out...I don't know if anyone else is in the apartment, but the place is quieter and less smelly since they left

Normal Girl and Normal Guy: their names tell you everything, they have jobs and/or go to school and stay out of everything

New Girl: I've only seen her once

Lizzy could provide many anecdotes about most of the people.

"Has anybody gone to jail yet?"

So today I was sitting on the bus at the downtown transfer waiting to go the rest of the way home when two 20-ish year old women got on the bus. They appeared trashy and high and very happy. They were loud and rambunctious. They settled down a little bit until one of them called someone. She was a very loud phone talker. One of the first things she said was "Is the police still there?" (Of course she pronounced it as poe'-lease.) She then asked, "Has anybody gone to jail yet?" It was unclear from her reaction if the police were still there or if anyone had been arrested. "She did announce that they would be there in "2.5," although that time measurement is unclear to me, as the entire route takes less than 2.5 hours, and I was on the bus for about 10 more minutes, and they were still one. They were on the bus the rest of the time I was on it, and they appeared happy and without a care in the world. I can't imagine being that happy if I was on the way to a house where the police were possibly arresting someone, but I wouldn't be 20, trashy, or high either.

Something to Say to Everyone

As my faithful readers know, I often observe unusual/uncomfortable/illegal activities during my evening walks. I often take similar routes because there are a couple of places that I like to stop and drink water. This means that I often see the same people around.

There is one house near a water-bearing park where I once before saw a man and woman on the porch. The woman was apparently having some relational difficulties, which could be attributed solely to the other involved parties. (Read: None of this was her fault.) I had no interactions with them.

Today I was on the other side of the road walking parallel to where one woman and two men were sitting on this porch. I heard them shouting as I approached. They were trying to stop a passing car (by shouting from the porch) because they believed that the ladder on top of that car belonged to them. They seemed briefly really worked up about it, but this emotion was not sustained.

As I got close to them (but on the other side of the road), one guy shouted to me, "Is that tattoo on your leg real?" It was the same tattoo that the man in the previous post commented on. I debated but decided that responding briefly was the best response. I just shouted, "Yeah." He shouted, "Seriously?" I shouted, "Yeah," and he shouted, "Damn." I was still walking, and I turned the first available corner to get away from them.

So many questions arose for this guy:
1. Did I do anything that sent the message that I wanted to talk to you? I was on the other side of the street, did not look in your direction, and walked continually.
2. If it was clear I wasn't interested in talking to you, why did you talk to me?
3. Why did you need to know if my tattoo was real?
4. Why did you doubt me after I said it was real?
5. Just why?

"You sure are pretty cute."

Tonight I was on my walk, and I was only a few blocks from home. I saw some cops with their lights on and realized that they were setting up a "sobriety chekpoint." I found this odd because it is Thursday, we are far from the university, and that area is not known for having bars or anything. A similar checkpoint near the college bars would make a lot more sense.

I was almost home when I turned into an alley. A 50-ish year old man on a moped (not uncommon in GL) was approaching the same area. I began to feel very special when he removed his ear buds. He asked me what was going on and gestured toward the police lights. I told him that was a sobriety checkpoint. He said, "That sucks." I thought, Only if you are planning on driving drunk down that particular block. He was checking out the tattoo on my leg and commented that he liked it. I told him to have a good night and started to walk away. I heard him say something, but I didn't catch it. I asked him to repeat himself, and he said, "You sure are pretty cute." And, that marked the end of our conversation.

I can't remember the last time a dude hit on me, and this was a much older dude on a moped who thinks that sobriety checkpoints suck. Talk about a self-esteem boost!

Bye Bad Mom!

BREAKING NEWS: BAD MOM AND RYAN/RYLIN MOVED OUT 7/29/2012

It's true. Bad Mom had one oldish man helping her load a van with her stuff on Saturday and another oldish man helping her load this truck on Sunday. It's unclear if she was evicted or if any other Bad Boyfriend has entered the scene. Gone are the sounds of yelling and banging on the door. I can't wait to see what kind of craziness replaces her craziness and to hear why NOLD doesn't like them.

Lost & Found

The following artifacts were discovered by a resident of the apartment building, Lizzy, in our laundry room:

Found-Item in hallway-you identify, I'll return: Apt 2

This is a game Apt 2 likes to play. Any normal neighbor would attempt to return the item to its owner. Since most people are honest, the item could be returned without playing the guessing game. Since said item could be virtually anything, you would need to know what you're missing! She knows who the item belongs to-She just lives for moments like this! Opportunities for her to have power over other people, since she is powerless against her husband. 

Here's what I know...Apt 2 belongs to NOLD, so she wrote the first note. (See previous posts about Nosy Old Lady Downstairs.) She and Bad Mom have been experiencing conflict, about which NOLD likes to gossip with Lizzy. They share a wall, and NOLD has called the police on Bad Mom several times. These calls were likely warranted, as Bad Mom seems to be literally abusing Ryan/Rylin, but there is also a crazy element to all of this nonsense. Lizzy and I both believe Bad Mom wrote the second note. Also, NOLD has brought us items that she believed we had lost, so she does not likely believe it is ours.

Here's what I don't know...what was lost, to whom it belongs, or whether that person will ever get it back.

Bad Boys, Bad Boys, Whatcha Gonna Do?

Tonight's walk led to another interesting sight.

The first sign of something noteworthy. People are sitting on lawn chairs in the streets...watching the police at a crime scene.

The view of the crime scene from the end of the street where the spectators are.

One perspective on the large area that is blocked off with police tape.

I have no idea what is going on, even though I stalked the area from every area (for journalistic purposes, of course). Unfortunately, I wasn't able to get better shots with my camera on my phone.

Also sighted on today's walk...Mormons.

Back to Normal

Hello Faithful Readers. Finally I have a good entry for you...just hours after I didn't have a good entry. And by "good," I mean rediculous.

Tonight I went for my usual walk. Well, it was somewhat unusual because I had a specific destination, as I needed to return a Red Box movie. And, the heat index was 91 at 9pm. I was wearing a t-shirt, gym shorts, and sneakers.

Typically when I'm walking I don't see other people out walking. People are hanging out in their yards, on their porches, and generally in the streets, but they are not walking. Tonight, soon after I left our building, I became aware of a guy who was somewhat near me. He was wearing a muscle shirt, gym shorts, sneakers, and a backpack. Also, somewhere behind me some woman was shouting something about Facebook. I tried to basically keep some space between him and me because I wasn't interested in any interactions. As I kept walking toward the store, he kept being close to me. I would round a corner and there he was. He wasn't doing anything creepy at all; he was just walking. And, he was always in front of me, so he wasn't following me. It was just odd that a) he was walking and b) he was continually near me.

At some point, I became aware of a woman coming up behind me. There were a few differences between us. She was walking down the middle of the street; I was on the sidewalk. She was wearing only a sports bra and gym shorts; I was also wearing a shirt and shoes. Soon, she, the guy, and I were all walking for several blocks near each other.

I was starting to feel like the three of us were on some kind of survelliance team. It was like on SVU when they are all trying to look like they are casually hanging out in the park while they are obviously not. I was imagining how we could make it more authentic...the woman could be talking on her cell phone, and I could have Lizzy with me. Then no one would suspect our true intent.

As I was imagining this, it became clear that the man and the woman actually knew each other. She was following him. For blocks and blocks, she followed him. She got within a few feet of him and started shouting at this time. At this point I was about 3/4 of a block behind them and couldn't hear what she was saying. I was torn between my curiousity (I wanted to keep moving toward them) and my concern that something bad was about to go down (I wanted to turn away from them). I worried that someone might think I was actually with them if something were to go down. We were all dressed casually (some more than others), we were similar in age (although I was probably the oldest), and we had been walking in the same general vicinity for close to a mile.

I was debating whether to turn away from them when the woman gave up her pursuit. She turned back toward me and shouted, "I hope you fucking get killed." I hope/assume she was talking to the dude and not me. She then said to me, "He hit me. If you see the cops, turn him in." I just muttered, "Okay," with absolutely NO intent of getting involved. She then said, "And, he has a knife in his bookbag." So wait...I'm supposed to believe that you were chasing him due to your fear of him? I'm not buying that one. All I've seen is you running around half naked chasing him, and again this has nothing to do with me.

The woman kept walking away from me and the guy eventually turned a different way than I was going. And that was the end of tonight's GL excitement.

A Happy Sight

I take walks around the neighborhood almost every night. Often I don't see anything to feel happy about. I see parents ignoring children, teenagers hanging out in the streets, and an abundance of litter. A couple of weeks ago, I saw the rainbow in the picture above. My phone camera sucks, so this picture does not do the rainbow justice. It spanned a huge distance and had a great range of colors. I walked toward it excitedly, and I wasn't the only one who was excited. A woman who was standing on the sidewalk stopped me to make sure that I saw it. It was amazing how a simple rainbow transformed the neighborhood, if only for a short time.

Bus Fun

I ride the bus to and from work every day, and I get to see and hear all kinds of interesting things. I often wear headphones, both for the music and to avoid attracting conversation from other ridees. I've known for awhile that I needed to write a post about the bus, but I wasn't sure what specific story I wanted to tell. Today I finally had "the experience" that I needed to write about.

I was on the bus home today, and my iPod was dead. I decided not to fake listening, so I didn't put the earbuds in. There was a guy who was trying--only somewhat successfully by my estimation--to flirt with a woman on the bus. This woman did not seem wooed by his discussion of why Christianity is wrong. Perhaps it's best to ask somewhat about their views on religion before launching into a controversial topic. Well, she still remained somewhat engaged in the conversation.

At the downtown transfer center another guy got on and sat across from the original guy. This started a conversation that went something like this:
--New Guy: I'm curious about your shirt..."Burn it where you buy it." (I'm guessing he was hoping it was a drug reference.)
--Original Guy: Very long explanation about the emerald ash borer and how they are trying to stop the spread of it by telling people not to move firewood.
--New Guy: A few weird detailed questions about ash trees and the insect, including whether it is edible or toxic. (Who asks about edible bugs???)
--Original Guy: Answers the guys questions...there are millions of ash trees, the insects are neither tasty nor toxic, the insects are beautiful.
--New Guy: Asks about preserving these beautiful bugs in some type of epoxy.
--Random Unbathed Punk Girl: "That's what's in my ears!" She pulls out her disgusting gauges, which has a spider preserved in it. "Do you know a lot about bugs??"
--Original Guy: "Well, I am a PhD student in etymology."
--Random Unbathed Punk Girl: "Do you know what kind of spider this is?? I've always wanted to know, but I can't figure it out." She reaches to show it to Original Guy but says, "Don't touch it! It smells from being in my ear." (GAG!)
--Original Guy: Says some words about not being a spider expert but having some ideas about what kind of spider it is.
--New Guy: Takes the disgusting gauge. "This is really cool."
--Random Unbathed Punk Girl: Thanks them both and pops the disgusting gauge back into her ear.

Sadly, we then reached my stop, so my education on ash trees (used for baseball bats and houses), emerald ash borers (metallic green on their backs and metallic purple on their stomachs), ear gauges (smelly), and spiders (more difficult to preserve than insects) ended.

Flashback: Day One

There is a lot of activity in GL today, especially a loud teenage girl who has threatened to "tell your mom" and called someone a "m-f-er," which is an unusual combination. Despite the activity today, there is no succinct story for today.

Instead, I decided to share the story of our first day in GL.

Lizzy and I moved here without ever seeing the place. My mom had visited it, taken pictures, and advised us against moving into this apartment. Against her better judgement, we moved in here, mostly because it was cheap and close to a bus stop. We had a service deliver our stuff in a semi, and we paid some guys from Craigslist to unload the truck.

Gina's leg was in an air cast that day (and other days). She propped open the front door with a stool and sat on it smoking while the movers went in and out. Her cigarette smoke permeated the entire building, and she asked the movers numerous questions. Despite the fact that they told her repeatedly that they were just the movers, she did not seem to understand that only Lizzy and I were moving in. After we introduced ourselves and explained that the guys were movers only, she directed more questions toward us, but she still had questions for the movers.

I remember us being amazed that we had selected this building in this neighborhood. It smelled bad, it was relatively dirty (not compared to our last apartment when we moved in), and we clearly had interesting neighbors.

Seven Dolla Holla

Friday morning when I was leaving for work, the sign pictured below was on the front door.

Attention!!! $7.00 Dollars was Lost in the on the step or Hallway By #5 Please Have a good Heart and return it if you found it it was Bill money, please you don’t know how much just $7.00 Dollar means to my pay all my Bill off!!!      #5 Gina

Just to recap, we've had missing mail, stolen shoes, and now seven dollar dollars. There's just never a dull moment in GL!

Email

I received the following email today. We know nothing about the laundry, except:
1. Leaving your laundry in a public washing machine for 15ish hours = a bad idea
2. One resident is notorious for stealing items from neighbors, so she might be a good place to direct questions
3. "Found missing" makes no sense



Dear Resident,

We have been informed that a resident has had their laundry go missing from the washing machine in the laundry room. It was there yesterday around 2pm and was found missing this morning. Please let us know if you have any information regarding this incident. 

Thank you,
Megan
X Brokers

This Should've Been a Guest Post

I've been trying to get Lizzy to write a guest post here because she has been having a lot of interesting GL action lately, including the following:

• Gina borrowed 40 cents from her and attempted to repay her with a doughnut.
• NOLD showed her pictures of "the girls." She previously told me all about "the girls" who are apparently the only other lesbians she has ever met. She wondered if we knew them, and Lizzy said she had to "check the roster."
• An old "grody" man was asleep/passed out/unconscious on a lawn one block over.
• Gina rambled incoherently, as per usual.
• NOLD brought in an "all access pass" that she found on the sidewalk and gave it to Lizzy because she thought maybe it belonged to us. There are two problems with that idea: first, it clearly belongs to a child, and second, it has a name on it, and that name is not Lizzy or Jessi.

Sadly, Lizzy has not been enthusiastic about writing a guest post. However, she might dictate one for me.

Just Another Day in GL

GL goodness started early today. I could hear Gina outside talking to NOLD before I even got a bite of breakfast. I was hoping that she would be back inside before I left for the bus. She wasn't. I put in my earbuds and walked out the front door, wishing Gina and NOLD a nice day. I had some kind of awareness that Gina was talking to me, but I didn't want to risk missing the bus, so I kept walking. I couldn't hear her over the music. She followed me to the bus stop; I gave up and took out my earbuds. There was no bus in sight, but she asked if "that's the one that goes to the school." There are two bus routes that stop there, and they both go to the school. One is more direct than the other, but they both get there. I typically take whichever comes first. So, I said yes. She then indicated that she didn't want the one that goes to the school; she wants the "regular one." I told her that the next one that comes will go downtown on the way to the school, so that's probably the one she wants. She then talked to me the whole time I was waiting for the bus and talked to me all the way downtown until she got off of the bus. Again, her speech was tangential and peppered with loose associations. All I know for sure is that we covered the following topics: she almost caught some other bus but missed it, she has to have/did have another foot/feet surgery and is concerned about bleeding, her son wants her to cook collard greens for him, her son and his girlfriend are having relationship problems even though she thought things were going well, her son seems to be developing a drinking problem which Gina believes is connected to his unhealthy relationship with his girlfriend (which is directly contrary to her earlier statements about their good relationship), their family is "church going and devil fighting," and she knows someone who was in a car accident when drinking. She referred to "40's" several times with particular disdain, which leads me to believe that she may not actually know what a 40 is. I offered about 20 words during the course of the conversation that was not about the bus routes, and she did not seem bothered by that.

Tonight I also got to observe a special bit of GL entertainment. (BTW, Gina is talking to someone on speakerphone right outside of our window right now.) There were three older teenagers on the street. Two of them were on bikes, and the third one was on a skateboard. The skateboarder kept attempting tricks, but he had no skill. He then decided the best plan was to tie a rope to the back of one of the bikes and ride his skateboard down the hill, so he could do some kind of a trick when he hit a pothole. Bad Mom (who didn't seem to actually know him but was driving by) warned him that he was going to get hurt, and he replied that he already knew that. I saw them start this feat, but I cannot see far enough down the street to see the inevitably painful ending. I did just see an ambulance go by though, which I believe may be related to this disastrously bad idea.

The awesome thing about living in GL is that I just never know what I might see/hear/smell/experience next.

Images of GL

I thought it might be nice to mix things up by adding some pictures of GL. These were all snapped during a 20 minute walk around the 'hood, so they may not necessarily be representative. 

Does anyone know what these things are? They were on the sidewalk when I went out to the bus this morning, and later today someone apparently moved them onto the grass. I don't know what they are are or where they came from.

This series of three houses is entertaining to me because they are all in a row. The first one (above) has an untended yard and a boarded window. I'm not sure if anyone lives there.

The second one (above) has the most pimped out yard of anyplace in the neighborhood all year round. They had an extensive nativity situation for Christmas-March.

The third and final house has had large furniture wrapped and on the porch since sometime before we moved in. I wish I knew why that was and what their plan for the furniture is.

This barbed wire apparently serves to keep people out of this factory. It's strange how it's so secure on this side, but the side just to the left of this is a wide open parking lot with about a 1/2 a block entrance. 

This is not necessarily ghetto-ish, but it is kind of cool. Yay for green energy!

This picture serves to illustrate the general state of disrepair of many houses in GL.

I wish I had a better version of the final picture in today's series. This man was wearing cowboys boots, a t-shirt, and gym shorts. He's holding a round wooden shield in his left hand and a wooden sword in his right hand. He was sparring with that metal helmet on a wooden pole. He practiced attacking the pole helmet from various angles, and the pole helmet failed to mount any type of offense or defense regardless of the angle. I couldn't get a better picture because, frankly, I was concerned about what this man might do if he saw me taking a picture of him.

I hope you have enjoyed today's tour of GL!

Incoherent Tears

Okay, so here's Gina's deal. Soon after we moved here Gina weasled a ride out of us. We were just getting back from somewhere, and she convinced us to take her to the bank. Fortunately that did not actually start a trend of that happening all the time. During that trip she shared some of her life story with us. According to her, she was some kind of big shot Church's Chicken manager. (And yes, I do believe "big shot Church's Chicken manager" is an oxymoron.) She was then in some kind of catastrophic accident. I think it was a car accident. She had a brain injury and needed numerous surgeries, and she never fully recovered.

My take: that is plausible. If I was doing a full assessment, I would need to rule out substance abuse, and I would want to screen for thought disorders. I want a copy of all recent neurological reports and labs. But, I'm not doing any of that. I'm just her neighbor.

That brings us to tonight. I was leaving the building to go for a walk, and I noticed that the front door was open. That door is locked, and sometimes neighbors will prop it open. I don't like that for two reasons: first, keeping the door locked maintains some kind of control over who comes in the building, and second,  people sit outside and smoke, so it can get really smoky inside when that door is open. I discovered that the door was actually held open by a rock shoved between the door and door frame. That means that one of our neighbors is smarter than I would have given any of them credit for. Well, I pulled the rock out and shut the door.

I was starting to walk away when I saw Gina. She asked me if I thought the rock got in there by itself, and I assured her that I didn't think that. I said that if she was the one who put it in there, I would put it back since she was there and hadn't left the area. (Plus, she wasn't smoking at that point. She seemed to just be standing aimlessly on the sidewalk.) She said that I didn't need to worry about it because she was going in, so I unlocked the door for her and stood there holding it for her to go in. Then she started talking to me more. It's difficult to track her statements during any extended conversations. She jumps from one topic to another and often does not provide enough context for me to really understand exactly what she is talking about.

This is all I know for sure...she made the following statements, and I made only minimal responses, mostly because I had no idea what she was talking about for most of it:
"You always lose the thing you need the most."
"At least I didn't lose my money. I paid the rest from my food and my mouth. (Her foot was broken when we moved in. I have no idea what was wrong with her mouth.) My son paid part of it, and I was like 'Ah lawd. He's helping.'"
"So blessed."
"...realized I hadn't heard my phone in awhile..."
"...just trying not to cry..."
"I was ready for him to straighten my toe, but I wasn't ready..."
"...15 flights of stairs..."
And, at that point Gina busted out crying and ran into the building. I just shouted after her "I hope you find your phone" because I surmised that she might have lost her cell phone. I haven't seen her since then.

Shake and Bake

Shake: "the movement of my head whenever I think about this neighborhood"
Bake: "to cook with dry heat in an oven"

Baked goods first became relevant in GL when Lizzy gave Gina (crackhead neighbor who tried to befriend us from literally our first day in the apartment) some surplus brownies early in our tenure in GL. Since then Gina has occasionally brought us some very unappetizing baked goods. She typically brings them when Lizzy is home. Lizzy will throw them away, and I won't know anything about them until Gina asks me several days later if I enjoyed them. I'll praise them profusely until she leaves me alone. Unfortunately she can be overly persistent. On Sunday we saw Gina get dropped off by a 12 passenger van, and a few minutes later we had an interaction that went something like this:

• Gina knocks on the door. Usually I make Lizzy answer the door because she likes the crazy much more than I do, but I answered it.
• Gina: "Where's your buddy?" (Yes, I *always* refer to my wife as my "buddy.")
• Me: "She's right here."
• Gina: "Do you (speaking past me to Lizzy in the living room) want some cake?"
• Me: "No thanks. We already had cake earlier today at a baby shower." (This was mostly true.)
• Gina: "I made chocolate and that other kind...what's it called...pineapple upside down cake."
• Me: "No thanks. We already ate cake today."
• Gina: "Are you sure? I can give you some. I was up (blah blah blah) church retreat, and I made cake."
• Me: "No thanks, Gina. We don't want any more cake today."
• Gina: "Okay, well, let me know if you want some cake."
• Me: "Okay, thanks, Gina."

I prefer to engage all of the neighbors as little as possible. Lizzy enjoys the drama and interaction. She baked some delicious dessert Monday night that she planned to take to her class on Tuesday. Instead, she took some to Gina, which encourages Gina to bring us more baked goods in the future...and the cycle continues.

Children of Ghetto-Lite

Only one child lives in our building. His name is either Ryan or Rylin, and he is the child of Bad Mom. He's around 8 years old. (There used to be a Bad Dad, who was actually Bad Stepdad, but we haven't seen him around in a long time.) Ryan/Rylin has a bad attitude, which is not surprising given the abuse and neglect--literally--that he has received at the hands of Bad Parents. I interact with Ryan/Rylin very little. My relationship with him consists mainly of my annoyance whenever he pounds on the front door for Bad Mom to let him in the building.

There are many many other children in the immediate area. They tend to congregate in noisy packs. Tonight a group of them were outside and extra noisy. They decided to lure Ryan/Rylin outside by shouting his name around 8:45pm. When they got his attention, they proceeded to sit on the front step and shout "PARTY! PARTY! PARTY!" until Lizzy shouted at them "WAIT QUIETLY!" They apologized, and they remained quiet for about 45 seconds. She slammed the windows down, and they ran back across the street to the parking lot/yard where they congregate sometimes.

It's after 9pm now, and they are still outside. We can't hear them much now with the windows shut. I'm hoping for a quiet night from now on.

Malicious Mail Mongering

Every place I've lived before I've barely interacted with my neighbors. I would be satisfied with continuing that fine tradition, but our neighbors here don't allow that. There are only eight apartments in our building, which means that there should not be much drama, especially considering that they are all adults. This is not a dorm or a sorority house, even if the neighbors seem to think it is.

A few days ago Lizzy overheard a screaming match between the nosy old lady downstairs (NOLD) and Gina, our resident crackhead who tries to be friends with us. NOLD was convinced that Gina had stolen her mail. (Personally, if mail was indeed stolen, I would blame Amy since she has a documented history of stealing from neighbors after stealing my shoes.) I'm not sure how that fight ended.

Well, this morning I was leaving for work, and NOLD was smoking on the front steps. I just wanted to get to the bus stop and away from NOLD. In general, I do whatever I can to avoid the neighbors. NOLD was not letting me off that easily. Our conversation went something like this:

• NOLD: "Did you take a sign off the door?"
• Me: "What door?"
• NOLD: "This door." (Gestures to front door)
• Me: "No." (Showing no interest in the topic, eating toast, and trying to get to bus stop)
• NOLD: "I had a sign here. Neighbors have been tampering with my mail."
• Me: "Well, it wasn't us."
• NOLD: "Oh, I know it wasn't you. I know who it was. It was three different apartments." (So, I'm supposed to believe that essentially half of the people in the building are stealing her mail and/or tampering with her mail or mailbox? Even if I did, I wouldn't miss the bus to work for it!)
• Me (walking away): "Okay, well, see you later."
• NOLD: "Okay, have a good day."

Okay, so, I know that I showed essentially no interest in this topic. I was as brief as I could be without being totally rude to her. BUT, I feel confident that next time I see her, she will try to engage me about this topic again. Either that, or someone in the building will either piss her off or do something she finds gossip-worthy.

Ground work

We've been living in what I call Ghetto-Lite for the past 9 months. It's a little bit shady here, and a lot of weird things have happened, including suspect baked goods, stolen shoes, and calls to CPS. Tonight was another interesting night that prompted me to start documenting our adventures in Ghetto-Lite.

I was reading in bed and Lizzy was working on homework in the living room when we heard a crash and a scream. We looked out of the window, and it appeared that a car had hit a moped and fled the scene. There were two women that had been on the moped--one was standing up (Standing Woman=SW), and the other was laying in the road (Road Woman=RW). The weirdest thing was that SW was screaming at everyone around that they were fine, so don't call the cops. "DON'T CALL THE COPS! WE'RE FINE! WE'RE FINE! DON'T CALL THE COPS!" RW was definitely not fine. (Question: What are they doing wrong if they don't want the cops called when one is clearly injured?) I called the cops. By that point they had already received other calls, and the police were on the way. SW forced RW to her feet and walked/dragged her to the sidewalk.

Half of the neighborhood ran outside to help/watch, and I believe the other half was staring out of their windows like us. As the first police car began to arrive, RW was screaming that she could not feel anything. (Question: How did she half-walk if she can't feel anything? Or, did SW further injure RW by forcing her to the sidewalk in a bungled attempt to avoid the fuzz?) Hopefully she is not actually paralyzed or otherwise seriously injured. After the first police car came, an ambulance came, which blocked much of our view and muffled much of the noise. Luckily, we are on the second floor, so we could still see some of the action.

Two guys picked up the moped and moved it out of the street. Another guy noticed a backpack in the street. It seemed like one or more of these guys knew the women involved. Things seemed to be settling down some. They were putting RW on a stretcher, and everyone was sort of milling around. Then Lizzy noticed a guy sprinting away from the area, and it appeared that he had the backpack. Lizzy wasn't the only one who noticed that, and a police car followed him and quickly caught up with him. The idiot ran straight down the sidewalk in the direction that the car was already half-facing. He probably could have evaded them if he had a) walked away nonchalantly, b) ran through yards, or c) ran up the street in the opposite direction because no police car would have been able to pursue him easily. Apparently none of that occurred to him. As it was, I think they arrested him. (Question: What was in the backpack? Our vote: Drugs.)

Nothing else particularly noteworthy occurred, although one police car and a tow truck (for the moped) remain outside. Most of the neighborhood folk have returned to whatever they do at 10:10pm. Lizzy will probably be researching this incident online tomorrow to learn more details. But as of now, this was yet another weird occurrence in Ghetto-Lite.

UPDATE 4/21/12: From a newspaper article I learned that the "women" involved were actually 14 and 15 years old. They actually hit the car, rather than vice versa. The one that went to the hospital was released after a few hours, so she clearly was not paralyzed. The article made no mention of the infamous backpack.